For a while now, I’ve found myself in a place where… I don’t really know myself anymore. What I like or don’t like. What I want or don’t want. What to do or not do. How to even think sometimes.
It’s like I’m watching myself move through life, doing what needs to be done, wearing all these hats, but still feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, less confident, and so, so tired. And honestly, Jeremiah 31:25 speaks for me: “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”
I love my family deeply — I wouldn’t trade them for anything. But somewhere along the way, I became everything for everyone and nothing for myself.
I’ve been battling this tension of wanting to be alone while also knowing realistically that it’s not fully possible in this season of motherhood. I have responsibilities. Little people who need me. A husband who loves me. A home that requires me. But there’s a version of me inside who’s whispering, “What about me?”
Psalm 61:2 captures this perfectly:
“When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”
That whisper isn’t selfish — it’s a signal.
A nudge from God.
A reminder that I am a person too, and God is still leading me even here.
This is me learning myself again.
This is me admitting that I’m overwhelmed.
This is me acknowledging that I need help, rest, space, joy, softness, and grace.
This is me asking God to meet me in the middle of it all.
In the confusion.
In the exhaustion.
In the overstimulation.
In the moments where I don’t recognize myself.
Isaiah 43:19 reminds me of what God is doing even now:
“See, I am doing a new thing… I am making a way in the wilderness.”
And so I pray:
“Lord, show me who I am again. Show me the version of me you see. Help me to rediscover the woman You designed, beneath the noise and the demands. Search me, God, and know my heart… lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23–24). Meet me here, God — in the middle of the mess and the becoming.”
I don’t have all the answers yet…
but I’m choosing to be honest about where I am.
Choosing to slow down.
Choosing to listen.
Choosing to grow.
Matthew 11:28 reassures me:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
This is the beginning of finding myself again.
And I’m trusting that God will guide me the rest of the way — because “God is within her, she will not fall” (Psalm 46:5), and “those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength” (Isaiah 40:29–31).